


floating

by theamazingkrypto



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/F, Minor Self Harm, Post Episode: s01e20 Better Angels, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, kara just needs a hug okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-26
Updated: 2017-02-26
Packaged: 2018-09-27 00:46:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9942698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theamazingkrypto/pseuds/theamazingkrypto
Summary: Most people would guess that she loves space.





	

Most people would guess that she loves space - and she does. She likes looking at the stars, twinkling and glinting, and the moon, so much like her own that if she _really_ tries she can pretend she's still on Krypton.

She just...loves it from a distance.

(-she was miles away - light years - but she could feel the heat of the fire from her pod, her safe pod, the souls of those she left behind clawing at her skin, her hair, begging her to come back-)

But just as a fisherman loves the sea, deep down, he's a little scared of it. He would never dive down willingly with the monsters below.

(-the muffled _boom_ of a world ending finally reaches her, too quiet, too quick, sending her spinning into the darkness-)

She doesn't like being _in_ space.

(-she'd clutched onto whatever she could grab - sweaty, shaking fingers slipping off of a small ledge-)

It's dark, and it's cold, and slowly suffocating. That floating feeling - the one of no control, of being completely _stuck_ \- reminds her of the Phantom Zone.

(-both metaphorically and physically - darkness wrapping her in its sweet embrace, crushing her rib cage, whispering in her ear, coaxing her to sleep-)

She hates the fact that she has to control. Over her mind, over her body. She can't fly back. She can't _breathe_.

(-but she doesn't want to go, she doesn't want to go, she doesn't want to go-)

(-she does.)

* * *

 

She screams - a raw, guttural sound, clawing up from her stomach and digging its talons into her throat - as she wakes. She lashes out against nothing - she needs something to hold onto.

"Kara. Kara, baby, hey." She freezes at the voice, and warm, solid hands wrap around her ankles. She shakes her head, pressing her palms to her temples for another physical anchor, and blinks rapidly. Lucy stands in front of her, brows furrowed in confusion. "You with me?"

Kara whimpers. "Where is us?"

Lucy doesn't correct her grammar. "We're in your apartment. You're on - well, what's left of your bed." Kara freezes again as she glances at the wreckage. That could have been Lucy. _I could have hurt her._

Lucy senses her thoughts, and rubs her ankle. "Hey, hey, baby. I'm fine. You would never hurt me."

Tears well up in her eyes.  "But I could have."

The trust that Lucy has in her - it makes her heart swell, but its misplaced. She gently kicks Lucy's hands away, curling herself up into a ball against the ruined headboard. She presses her eyes against her arm, wetting the fabric of her pajamas. "I'll-I'll clean it up. Don't worry."

"Kar-" Lucy leans half an inch forward, and Kara immediately presses herself further against the headboard. Lucy vaguely looks hurt - and oh Rao Kara _did_ hurt her -  and she lets her hand fall back to her side. "Do you need space?"

Space? She's so tired of space. Twenty-four years of dark, empty space. Even those few seconds, minutes, hours of floating in space, watching Fort Rozz get farther and farther with half-lidded eyes as her brain slowed down - that had been enough for Kara to ask Lucy to stay over. (Not on the bed, though - or, well, she told Lucy that she would take the couch in case... _this_ happened, but Lucy insisted. After lifting a ten-million-ton-or-whatever prison into space, Kara didn't feel like arguing.)

She knows it's just a metaphor - it means two different things, but - She tugs at the hair at the back of her scalp harshly just to feel those little pin pricks of pain, proving that she's here, she's not floating, and she's in control.

"Kara," Lucy coos, smoothing her hand over Kara's, coaxing her into releasing her hair. Lucy's so warm, and tangible, and the last - the _last_ thing Kara needs right now is space.

She grasps Lucy's arm, tugging her awkwardly down onto her lap. She wraps herself around Lucy as hard as she can. Not _wants to_ , but _can_ , because she isn't floating, and she would never hurt Lucy while she's in control.

Lucy presses kisses along her hairline before Kara buries her sobs into her shoulder. Lucy's rub up and down her back, whispering sweet nothings into her ear. "I'm right here, Kara, alright?" she tells her. "You're right here."

(She's here, and she doesn't want to go.)

**Author's Note:**

> Come chat with me about Superlane on tumblr [**@theamazingkrypto**](https://theamazingkrypto.tumblr.com) ****
> 
> Reviews really do mean a lot to me!


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